Round One: Self-confidence Learned at an Early Age
As requested, this is my confession of being totally obsessed with my weight! It’s true and if you know me then I am sure I have asked you at some point “Does this make me look fat?” I can’t help myself and I have no one to blame but me, but the good news is that I made it to a point in my life where I can finally embrace my curves and say with conviction that I am sexy as heck….!
I guess the best place to start is from the beginning.... So here it is!
It all started one perfect January afternoon back in 1990 in California at a brunch for my grandmothers birthday. I was discovered by the man who, at the time was the head of the Miss California Pageant Organization. Jeep Jones (head honcho), was staring at me from another table and my grandmother, who (if you know her then you this about her) is a spitfire that ya just don’t want to mess with, stood up and walked over to his table demanding an explanation as to why he had his “creepy little eyes all over her granddaughter”. He stood up and extended his hand with a look of horror in his eyes and introduced himself. Needless to say she was bright red in the face. She took his card and returned to the table too embarrassed to finish her meal.
After several months of preparation I entered the first of many pageants. It started with Miss San Bernardino County where I took 3rd princes and Miss Photogenic. That was enough to qualify me for the next round which was Miss Inland Empire where I took 2nd princes, Miss Photogenic, and Most Potential. Not to mention several hundreds of dollars in scholarship money. I qualified for the nationals held in Anaheim which was the beginning of the road to Miss California and eventually Miss America. I did not place in the Nationals, but I did receive Girl of the Year, Miss Photogenic, and Miss Congeniality. And I won several divisions including western wear, prettiest eyes, smile, and face. That was enough to send my self-confidence through the moon and as a tall lanky child who was constantly teased, it was much needed.
My family was transferred to Waycross, GA several months later where I entered one pageant and actually won the title. It was America’s Cover Miss USA and it came with some great prizes and more money. My southern beauty pageant career was short-lived as we eventually moved back home to the great state of Colorado.
A few months in to being back home (where I was born) my mother received a call out of the blue. It was one of the judges from the nationals in Cali. She was also a talent agent for the children’s division of Elite Modeling Agency. She wanted to sign me but I had to go to a modeling school where they could help me lose my pageant ways and become more marketable for print and runway work. I did just that and it started out great until they started hounding me about my weight and nitpicking about everything else. My mother saw the effect this was having on me and so being the wise woman that she is, she yanked me out and that was the end of my life as supermodel.
I was devastated and my family and friends spent the better part of a year trying to convince me that I was beautiful both inside and out. My mother always taught me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that being a good person was far more important than being “ Really, really, ridiculously good looking” LOL! How true those words are but it took me 15 years to really embrace it.
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