Round Two: Negative Self-image
My tween/teenage years were a nightmare, I was already developed in certain areas (wink-wink) and I still had my supermodel strut which made me a huge target for other kids to constantly pick on me. Being beat up and called names everyday takes a toll on a girl. I was back to my ways of being self-conscious and hating my body and the way I looked. I had curves and was tall and I thought I was fat and ugly because I let all those people get inside my head. I remained reclusive and didn't talk to people much because I was afraid of what they thought about me.
It wasn't until I turned 18 that I decided I was going to get in the best shape I could and I couldn't give a damn what others thought of me. I had a whole new set of friends and I was finally coming in to my own. I started to embrace what I had, but it wasn't long before I tried to convince myself that I needed to change my body to conform to what the magazines and mainstream media deemed the “norm” of what a woman looks like. I was kidding myself, I have never been nor will I ever be a size zero. I am just not built that way, but I thought I had to look that way to be accepted. I tried everything short of bulimia to look the way I perceived as being beautiful. This was all enough to send me into a terrible downward spiral of depression and horrible negative self-image issues. And even though I was in the best shape of my life I hated my body……
No comments:
Post a Comment