Round Three: Overcoming Demons
I was in a dark place and decided that the best course of action was to act like everyone else my age and hide behind drinking and partying. I lost sight of who I was and what I wanted out of life. I was acting in a negative way and therefore negative things happened in my life. I got involved with the wrong crowds, stayed out late, worried my poor mother almost to an early grave, and did not pursue my goals I had set as a young child to become a doctor. I was wasting my life and then… I finally snapped out of it and not a moment too soon. A lot of the people that I was hanging around with got involved in illegal activity and most of them ended up in and out of jail.
That was my wake up call and so I decided to get serious about my life. I was twenty and started dating this guy who seemed sweet and sincere. He had great eyes and an infectious smile which was almost the end of me. I had this idea to start a line of fragrances’ and he was quick to jump on board with the idea. We started out small and then became somewhat successful. He was the biggest mistake of my life- long story short, he stole money and left me homeless, and then he took his own life. After that, I gained a huge amount of weight due to stress and depression so I moved to Cleveland to live with my Aunt and get my life back on track once again. I tried everything from walking to running in order to lose the 60 pounds I gained, but there was one thing that eluded me and that was the concept of eating right. I was working out and not losing a pound, in fact I was gaining weight. I continued to walk to work every day and had all but given up until I met Joe.
Joe had the body of a Greek God! Some say that he looks like an anatomy chart and it is kind of true. He was gorgeous and I thought I had a less than zero chance. I just stared at him from a far every time he would come into the store I was working at. Then one day I noticed he was coming in for no apparent reason. He would just come up to the counter and talk to me for hours and my boss finally had to tell him to ask me out or buy something and so he asked me out. We hit it off and unofficially dated for a few months before I moved back to Colorado. Once I got settled back home he came for a visit and one thing led to another and he moved out to Denver.
He was what I like to call the” Fitness Nazi” and it was exactly what I needed. He taught me about eating well and working out regularly and it wasn’t long until I was back in great shape and feeling good about myself. This time it was different, I finally started to accept myself for who I was. I started to embrace my curves and love my body for everything it was and wasn't. I had finally gotten to a place where I was truly happy with the way I looked and I had decided that I looked pretty damn amazing despite what "mainstream" deemed as sexy!
After two and a half years we ended our relationship, but we still remain the best of friends. I kept my body in shape and worked out regularly for a while until I lost that drive and became complacent with where I was at. We all do it because it is easier to accept what is there rather than striving for what is better. We get lazy and fall back in to old habits or whatever the excuse that makes us sleep better. If I had known that I would gain back half of that 60 pounds in less than a year, you bet your ass I would’ve continued to work out and eat right. It is so much harder to gain back that momentum once you have let it go!
To be continued.....
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